The ancient Canaanite deity Baal is super excited to have a statue in his honour placed just outside the Trump golf course in Florida. “I haven’t been honoured in such a public fashion in thousands of ...

In his most emphatic statement to date, US President Donald Trump has told Iranian authorities to give up because he holds all the Dutch Blitz cards. “I’ve got all the cards. All the cards. Buggies.

Mrs. Dorothy Wiebe of Altona was the last senior in town not to get sprayed with a water gun this week and has been crowned winner of Senior Assassin 2026. “I knew they couldn’t get me in church,” ...

Mr. Todd Driedger of Aylmer is always the last one in all of Aylmer, Ontario to switch over to his summer tires. “I could tell Daisy was ready for a change,” said Driedger, stroking Daisy’s mane.

The City of Steinbach is urging residents to boil their schmaunt fat this afternoon after a private contractor accidentally damaged the pipe that supplies locals with clean fresh white cream gravy.

It’s that time of year again. Construction crews are out in earnest this week trying to keep up with the demand for new 2025 potholes. “It’s a lot of work,” said veteran road worker Andy Kehler. “But ...

World-renowned climber Alex Honnold has just accomplished the greatest feat of his career—free soloing the credit union building in Steinbach. “No one ever thought it could be done,” said climbing ...

According to a recent Statistics Canada estimate, the City of Winnipeg now has a population of just over 850,000 Friesens. “And growing,” said mayor Scott Gillingham, one of just three individuals in ...

After fierce competition all week, Steinbach mayor Earl Funk came home with gold medal in the Grand Slam of Butchering this week. “His farmer sausages in the 8th end were what really did it,” said ...

Influential author Philip Yantsied resigned his position this week after his moral failings were revealed. The news hit hard particularly in the Mennonite communities. “I’m saddened by the news, but ...

Thanks, everyone, for a great year. I have some exciting (real) news in the coming weeks so stay tuned. In the meantime, here is some fake news for you. Here are the top 10 most read Unger Review ...

I used to do this annual quiz on the Daily Bonnet and I figured it was time to return to that tradition. So here it is, the annual news vs. satire quiz. Perfect to occupy your time while everyone else ...